Indians are an intrusive lot.

We dare to tread where most ‘polite’ Westerners dread.

In this Sunday’s Brunch [a supplement with the HT] I came upon an article. The author whacks us eloquent on the issue of getting embarrassingly personal when we converse. Even when we are dealing with people we’ve just met.

It’s an Asian sub continent trait.

[ As is staring. But that’s another story. ]

Yes, we can ask an unmarried lady why she isn’t ‘settled’ yet.

We can ask a man his basic salary & what he makes on his trips abroad.

We ask the childless why they haven’t ‘conceived’ yet.

We can ask a senior citizen how he plans to divide his property.

We prod our neighbours about their son’s board exam marks, their sister in law’s divorce or their grand dad’s bowel movements with such aplomb, that a ‘civilised’ gora would just self-combust with indignation!

Ok, we have all been on both sides - the tormented and the tormentor.

Why is it such a bad thing, I ask?

Before the junta just lynches me, let me hurriedly explain why I wonder.

Talking purges.

Talking exorcises.

Sharing our woes, joys or dilemmas is therapeutic.

This is perhaps why we as a lot, don’t have the shrink-couch-therapy culture of the west. Because we always download! We don’t care if it’s a stranger on a train who empathises with our painful piles problem! We just yak. We let it all hang out. Which I believe is very good! In a country like ours where number of problems are greater than number of people, it is like the Great Indian Unburdening that goes on relentlessly just as our culture does.

I see a huge virtue in sharing. It keeps us sane. It keeps us mentally balanced. It teaches us how we’re not alone in any of our situations.

It’s an Invisible Mass Bonding at work all the time.

Any Indian can recall hundreds of anecdotes, experiences, maladies, situations, home remedies and what not as a fall out of this art of ‘intrusive’ conversation.

It’s amazing how we draw strength, wisdom, support and sense of belonging from all the massive sharing we keep doing.

Yeah the negative fall out is that people gossip and get too judgemental, but hey… every bloody thing is a two way street ain’t it? I choose to see the greater good. Maybe us ‘city wallahs’ value our thoughts, privacy and egos way too much. Granted, that a city slicker can get bugged by stupid questions like, “Beta, why do you let your maid have 4 cups of tea daily? You are spoiling her…”

But to crores of our brethren, this is the sole source of counselling, advice seeking, unburdening and learning. It’s like a million counsellors / spiritual guides / shrinks floating around. So at a macro level, it is a fantastic device to keep sanity in a country where living conditions are as adverse as they get.